MANILA — Child development experts and educators said protecting children from online harm and school violence requires more than monitoring devices, blocking harmful content or imposing rules.
Adults must learn to recognize changes in behavior, respond without worsening a child’s distress, and build relationships that make children feel safe enough to seek help.
The message emerged during PLDT Inc.’s Safe Online Space forum on Tuesday, where child-development specialists, educators, government officials, and industry representatives discussed the growing risks facing children both online and in schools.
Bryanna Mariñas, founder and executive director of Violence Ends With Us, said children often communicate distress without verbally asking for help.
“Silence does not mean that nothing is wrong. Usually, children especially, and even young people and teenagers, we try to show what signs of help without verbally saying it. That might be through our body language, through the way we act, etc.," Mariñas said.
Mariñas urged parents and teachers to watch for changes in a child’s usual behavior, including sudden withdrawal, unusual talkativeness, defensiveness about a phone or reluctance to discuss certain online friends.
But recognizing the signs, she said, is only part of the challenge.
“How we respond is equally as important as noticing the sign. So you may be, as a parent or as a teacher, you know that something is wrong, but the way you respond to it is not that good. And so, I feel like it nullifies everything," she said.
Mariñas cited an ASEAN survey of 1,100 young people that found major barriers to seeking help after experiencing violence.
Half cited fear of retaliation or further harm, while 47.6% feared adults would not believe them. Another 32.4% believed nothing would change even if they sought help, while 28.9% cited negative past experiences of seeking help.
She said online harms such as cyberbullying, image-based abuse, and grooming can intensify self-blame and make children less likely to seek assistance.
Family life and child development specialist Dr. Tina Zamora, meanwhile, cautioned adults against allowing fear to dictate their response to incidents involving children.
Zamora said she was surprised by recent school violence incidents and urged parents and institutions to consider the specific circumstances of each case instead of applying the same response to every situation.
"Tingnan niyo po iyong mga ginawang reactions after school shootings. Biglang naghahalughog sila ng bag sa eskwelahan. Kahit mga gunting tinatanggal, reaction iyon," Zamora said.
"Ano pa? Nag-react ng government, gumawa ng active shooter drill. Maling-mali iyon. For a psychologist's point of view, you do not re-traumatize a child by putting an actor pretending to be shooting people," she added.
Zamora also urged media organizations to avoid unnecessary details when repeatedly reporting on school violence because of concerns about possible copycat behavior, while stressing that threats must still be taken seriously.
‘THE SYSTEM IS OVERWHELMED’
Teacher Tin Canon, a school administrator and family life and child development specialist, said educators themselves are struggling under the expanding demands placed on schools.
“Right now, the system is overwhelmed. The teachers are overwhelmed. And it's not just because of what's been happening. It's because of the nature of our job," Canon said.
Canon said schools treat threats to harm others or oneself as emergency situations, but schools cannot carry sole responsibility for a child’s mental, emotional, and social well-being.
Teachers already manage instruction, paperwork, lesson preparation, and communication with parents, she said, underscoring the need for stronger partnerships between schools and families.
Canon also called for greater support for parents navigating their children’s digital lives and said online platforms should have safeguards for younger users rather than leaving the burden entirely on families.
Conversations with the children, Canon said, have also shown that many children simply want their parents to talk to them more.
“Iyong pagtutok [on children's online activity] kasi sa akin, it sounds like monitoring. It sounds like hovering. It's not safe. It does not feel safe to our children. So, it's more of what they're hungry for right now. And I've interviewed our high school students about this," Canon said.
Educator and parent Edric Mendoza similarly said parental safeguards should be rooted in trust rather than surveillance.
“Rules without relationship leads to rebellion. So my answer to your question is, on the one hand, there are all these platforms and protocols already in place. And as parents, I think we're trying to put many rules in place," Mendoza said.
“The critical question we need to ask is, how is our relationship with our children? Is that relationship strong? So that when we start implementing these rules, platforms, protocols, their hearts are turned towards their parents," he added.
GOVERNMENT STRENGTHENING SAFEGUARDS
Meanwhile, Atty. Jaye Dela Cruz-Bekema, chief legislative staff officer of the office of Senator Risa Hontiveros, said the proposed Batang Ligtas Bill had completed bicameral deliberations and was expected to be ratified by both chambers on Tuesday, with the goal of enactment before Christmas.
The measure seeks to expand selected safeguards under laws addressing online sexual abuse and exploitation of children to cover online recruitment, coercion, and inducement of children into serious violent activity.
Dela Cruz-Bekema said the proposal uses conduct-based language rather than the broader term “nihilistic violent extremism” in defining the prohibited conduct.
CICC Director Rojun Hosillos said government already has a coordination mechanism involving the DOJ, PNP, and NBI, together with private-sector platforms.
“This is not just a technological problem. This is not just a coordination problem. This is also a problem where hindi nando'n sa digital space ng mga kabataan ang kanilang parents. Admittedly, iyong mga parents, like myself, we are not really digital natives while our children are. So there's really the gap," Hosillos said.
PNP Police Major Queen Rivera said law enforcement faces particular difficulty because online crimes involving children can happen in real time.
Authorities also face challenges in preserving data and tracing who children had been communicating with before an incident, she said.
Rivera urged communities to report red flags involving online recruitment or violent activity immediately so authorities can intervene and provide appropriate support. The PNP is also conducting information campaigns in schools and communities.
DepEd Disaster Risk Reduction and Management Service Director Felino Castro said school violence should be viewed as a manifestation of longer-term risks, making prevention and early identification essential.
Castro pointed to gaps created by the reach of the internet, including children using mobile data outside school Wi-Fi safeguards, and algorithms that continuously feed content based on users’ interests.
DepEd is strengthening child protection committees in schools as multidisciplinary safe spaces where learners can report concerns, while acknowledging the shortage of guidance counselors and the difficulty of detecting children who may already be experiencing psychological or emotional distress.