Celebrity dad Kris Lawrence believes that while parenting styles may continue to evolve with time, one thing should remain constant: that children should always be raised from a place of love rather than fear.
Speaking on Hot Takes, the R&B singer shared his honest thoughts on the growing conversation surrounding gentle parenting, saying that while every family situation is different, he personally does not believe in using fear or intimidation when disciplining his children.
Kris is father to daughter Katie, whom he shares with former partner Katrina Halili, and son Lyric with his former non-showbiz partner.
Asked about his thoughts on gentle parenting, Kris acknowledged how much parenting approaches have changed compared to older generations.
“It’s definitely a different take on parenting versus the old days,” he said of gentle parenting.
“I was brought up in a different generation and [now] it’s a new generation. I think it has something to do with the gadgets...but then again in life, change is the only thing that’s constant, right? I feel like gentle parenting leans more to emotional understanding, empathy, and understanding the kids [with] emotional awareness.”
While recognizing that many parents from older generations viewed pamamalo or spanking as discipline, Kris pointed out how perspectives today have shifted, with spanking now often seen as teaching through fear and intimidation.
The singer also reflected on how financial struggles and everyday stress can affect a parent’s emotional capacity, acknowledging how outside pressures can sometimes influence how parents respond at home.
“I can see how that happens...When you’re financially stable, naturally you’ll be in a better mood.”
Still, he emphasized that no matter how difficult circumstances may get, family is a responsibility parents should consistently show up for.
“Family is not always the most convenient thing because you have so many things to live with [including] work. But family is something na you always have to show up for... Whatever your mindset is it’s going to dictate your mood and how you react to things so I can definitely see how that happens”.
For Kris, parenting is also a continuous process of learning not only about raising children, but also about understanding yourself first to give what is needed to your child.
He added that parenting requires flexibility, especially since no two days as a parent ever look exactly the same.
“At the end of the day, it’s like a balance of energy,” he said.
READ: Kris Lawrence, Katrina Halili reflect on how parenthood transformed their lives
Looking back at his own childhood, Kris shared that his parents managed to strike a balance between being strict and gentle, which he now appreciates as an adult.
When asked whether gentle parenting can sometimes be seen as a luxury depending on one’s financial situation, Kris said the most important thing is consistency and commitment.
“I think it’s still important to show up no matter what happens. Even if you had a hard day and then you come home to the kids, that’s still your job as a parent. You still have to show up. You still have to be consistent, have the commitment. And it’s still important to have boundaries. You want them to feel safe”.
More than anything, the celebrity dad wants his children to always feel safe enough to come to him no matter what they may be going through.
“It has to come from a place of love always.”
Discussing discipline, Kris said he does not believe children should be controlled through fear, even while teaching them accountability for their actions.
“I wouldn’t say that you want to control them with fear...kasi pag pinalo mo sila [to discipline] fear is what’s leaning there, right? Fear and intimidation. But you also [want] them to learn how to take responsibility for their actions...because every decision always leads to their path...One bad decision will take you to a totally different path. You want to teach them that every decision has an effect”.
Kris admitted he also experienced physical discipline growing up, saying it was simply the norm during his generation.
“I think it’s just the way it was back in the day. One thing that I did notice with kids before and kids now, and I don’t mean this [to be bad] with all due respect, but I see the kids a lot softer these days compared to before,” he said. “Before, people in the '90s and before [that], we’re like a lot tougher. We’re built tougher, like emotionally tougher.”
At the same time, Kris stressed that parenting should never be compared because every child has unique needs, something he understands deeply through his experience raising Katie, who is mildly on the autism spectrum.
“Everybody’s life is different so you cannot always compare every single situation, it’s not the same. Especially with mine, Katie is mildly on the spectrum. I have to approach it a lot more gentle than a different parent [because] I have a different case. I have to lead with love. I have to lead with understanding. I have to make her emotionally stable and strong. I have to let her know how much I love her and Kat has to let her know how much we’re totally here for her. As compared to ibang bata na one hundred percent normal sila...It’s a totally different situation”.
As a co-parent in a separated household, Kris also highlighted the importance of communication between family members who share parenting responsibilities.
“Communication for sure, we have to have communication. With Katrina’s mom, I’m very open with her. Nagk-kwentuhan kami. It's very important that you guys speak kasi baka dito, spoiled na spoiled siya tapos dito sobrang iba rin. The kids just want to go kung saan niya pwedeng gawin lahat ng gusto niyang gawin tapos pagbalik sa'yo iba na yung utak or behavior niya. So I think the best way to do is have communication. There’s an agreement and you guys are all going in the same direction.
“You still have your individuality on how you’re going to treat the kid. Hindi mo naman maiiwasan na yung lola talaga yung spoiler ng bata. Ibigay mo na yung sa lola, that’s their joy. You have to respect that... As long as everyone’s communicating and we’re all heading in the same direction for the love of the kid everything should be fine."
Asked if he ever competes for his children’s affection against other relatives, Kris said parenting should never come from selfish intentions.
For him, what matters most is ensuring his children always know they have a safe space with him.
“At the end of the day, it’s love. You want to show them how much you love them, how much you support them. You want them to feel safe. I want Katie and Lyric to feel safe with Papa. No matter what they need, no matter what they’re feeling, at the end of the day, you guys can come to daddy."
Sharing advice for modern fathers navigating co-parenting or trying to build healthy relationships after separation, Kris maintained, “I would always just say to lead with love. Show your commitment. Show up. Have consistency. I think it’s a good thing to have a balance with the old way and the new way. Because of the old way, there was always a lot about commitment; there was a lot of sacrifice in the old days. Now it’s like, a lot of emotional awareness, [and] a lot of empathy. I think the magic happens when you combine both worlds."